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Stop Romanticizing Toxic Relationships and Move On

Updated: Oct 18, 2022

Toxic relationships are ones in which two people don't communicate or relate to one another in healthy ways. They make you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked.

Whether online through social media or pop culture, you’ve probably heard of a “toxic relationship” before. And because all relationships are subjective, it’s hard to understand what it means to be in a toxic one. But if you’ve ever been in a toxic relationship, you know how draining it can be and the hopelessness that comes from feeling as if you’re trapped.

I remember my boyfriend telling me once, “I don’t know why I’m still dating you,” along with some other things because I had done something that made him angry. I let out a sudden and relentless laugh in response. Ironically, that same thought about him had constantly been running through my head all week. Yet the past me would’ve reacted so differently.

That’s the thing with toxic relationships, though. You either stay long enough to get better at putting up with the toxicity or force yourself to become strong enough to leave for your own sake. In my case, I stayed, and now it’s almost four years. The results: I lost myself and wrecked my emotional and mental health. I stayed and held on to the thought that there was a small chance for things to change, that he might change. News flash: He didn’t, and he won’t.

This is because when things are going great in a toxic relationship, you get addicted to the highs, the niceties, and little time and attention given. You see these and cling to every moment. But when things are not going well, you put on “rose-colored glasses” and fall back on the “good times,” trying to make mental excuses or refuse to remove those glasses and see things as they are. It’s a vicious cycle.

· Eventually, the same old fights become stale, and enough is enough.

· Stop romanticizing our toxic relationships and move on because you deserve so much more.

· Release your emotional attachment to toxic relationships.

· Detach, Shake it off, and Let Go.

Once you let go of that person, you’ll realize how ordinary they are and that the entire time it was your love that made them seem so special. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself is to adjust to their absence rather than be frustrated by their presence. So, don’t be with someone who makes you question your self-worth and makes you feel like an option. You’re not an option. You’re a phenomenal person who deserves the world! Plus, it is quite possible that when you let go, that’s when you will find another relationship with someone else who sees you as that phenomenal person.

3 Simple Signs Of A Toxic Relationship

  • Nothing ever gets resolved. Every relationship will have some issues. Relationships take work. In a toxic relationship, nothing gets resolved because any conflict ends in an argument. A toxic relationship has no comprising. It's their way or the highway. When this happens, needs get buried, and unmet needs lead to resentment.

  • Your relationship feels unhappy all the time. You fall asleep sad and you wake up feeling the same way. Your relationship is filled with more arguments and problems than happy times. Yet you stay anyway. However, the longer you stay the darker life seems to get. Leaving a relationship is never easy, it takes strength, courage, and confidence.

  • All the work, love, and compromise in the relationship comes from you only. It takes two. Relationships take two people working to make them better. One person alone cannot hold a relationship together. It’s lonely and it’s exhausting. You are the giver and you never receive. Let go of the fantasy that you can change the person. Stop. thinking that you are the problem or that you are not good enough. Just stop. You’re enough. It is just time to let go.

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